January 2012
2 posts
“Well, he’s gonna have his fingers in my mouth, so I’ve gotta trust...”
“Just give me a kiddie pool and a straw, and I’m good.”
December 2011
4 posts
“I’ve got skinny legs; I’ll wear the skirt.”
“Watch out! A’s on her soap wagon.”
“Boy, that Jesse McCartney really threw me for a loop.”
“He shoulda listened to Swayze.”
November 2011
3 posts
“Wow. Those cats at the Tootsie Roll factory have really gotten the taste of...”
“Put some pants on that buffalo.”
“A: I just made a rainbow gradient by accident. I don’t even know how I did...”
October 2011
3 posts
“I can make all of the United States bigger if I delete Canada.”
“I wish I had a baby polar bear.”
“That defies the laws of murder.”
“If there’s any meat I’m gonna like, it’s gonna be Loose Meat...”
September 2011
15 posts
“I’m a professional white-ball-hitter-inner.”
“I’m really good at accidental trick shots.”
“A: Did you just call me “a burp”?
B: Yeah. It’s like the...”
“What other gay sea references can we make?”
“Sometimes you’re just not in the mood for Bone Thugs-n-Harmony … or...”
“A: That may be how you do it in the States, but that’s not how we slow...”
“A: What isn’t better with Nazi’s?
B: Jambalaya?”
“Where I come from, deja vu is a strip club.”
“A: I think the second ingredient is hydrogenated oil.
B: I think the second...”
“Why didn’t you just kick his wheelchair?”
“The Internet is stalking you.”
“I just posted some White Snake lyrics as my Facebook status.”
“Speaking of baby doll legs, when are we going to play racquetball?”
August 2011
13 posts
“I choose Pop-Tarts over violence.”
“A: I don’t think it was an intentional seahorse.
B: And we’ve found...”
“We’re all just two cats away from living in an easy chair of our own...”
“I have a wide girth in my hips.”
“We’ve reached critical sass.”
“If I want to fly, I’m gonna fly. I’m a unicorn.”
“Wrestling? Like that WWFM or whatever?”
“It’s kinda like putting the cart before the wagon.”
“A: I just want to do the web build and post it live.
B: Most women like the...”
“You must’ve eaten your Joke Wheaties this morning.”
“I would love to be a Zebra.”
“Deodorant … it’s like butter, it needs to soften.”
“Sashaying is the ballet of walking.”
July 2011
6 posts
“You can love me from my plate, but you can’t be in my mouth.”
“A: Is C just walking around?
B: No. She’s training a tiger in the...”
“Did that bastard not punch me last time?”
“There’s a fine line between rapist and hobo.”
“A: I didn’t like the whole “Porchlights for Caylee” thing. It...”
“I have a long history of chin trauma.”
June 2011
1 post
“A: I like pie charts, but graphs can suck it.
B: Yeah. Area graphs can go fly a...”
May 2011
9 posts
“I actually really like playing with flat balls; you can hit them as hard as you...”
“I don’t want to suck it. I want one I can chew on.”
“The cream rises to the crop.”